Wrecking Ball

So it has been awhile.  A long while.  About a month.  Have you missed me?  I sure have missed writing.  I am trying to get down a sch. so you all will know when to expect new entries from me, but obviously I have not gotten the right sch yet.  When I was trying to think about what to write today I thought I would write a post about me.  This way you all can get to know me a little more of who is behind the screen.  So let’s start this post how bout it.

Tuesday April 23rd 2002.  This is a day that I will never forget.  I was a freshman in high school.  The only thing that I cared about then was turning 16 in October and getting my drivers license.  I thought at that point I would be a “grown up.”  At that point I would gain my freedom.  But, The Lord had other things in mind for me.

I was on my way home from my boyfriends house.  He lived around 45 minutes away from me (how my mom and why my mom would take me there so much I would never know… have to love her for that.)  That night he had broken my heart.  That night I never thought I would ever be the same.  I was a dramatic little highschooler who just got dumped by her boyfriend.  I thought that life was over.  

Dropping of my friends I was a blubbery utter mess.  Everyone tried to comfort me, but of course no one could understand what I was going through.  In my little high school mind no one had ever felt pain like this.  Looking back at it now I actually can not think of why people tolerated me acting like that.  It was annoying and embarrassing.  My mother and I proceeded home taking the back roads.

I woke up and watched Saved by the bell at 7AM.  This was the episode where they had a pancake breakfast to save some inn at hawaii that was related to some character some way.  Supporting details do not matter.  I just knew that I was starving for some pancakes at this point.   I tried to get up, however a metal looking towel rack got in my way.  I was confused.  I then looked around my room only to realize I was in a hospital room.  

I do not remember the date that I woke up.  I have some memories from being in the hospital.  Let’s start with those.

The first memory I have (although at the time I did not know it was a memory from the hospital.) started waking up from a dream.  I had a dream my alarm was going off and that I was late for school.  I woke up with a vigilance.  Arms and legs failing as if I was in danger.  I looked around and did not recognize anyone.  I was frightened.  I was told to take in a deep breath and something was then yanked from my throat.  After that everything goes black.

The next memory that I have was when I was in a hospital bed.  I woke up in the most pain that I have ever experienced.  Every nerve on my body was on fire.  I screamed, kicked (although I was in restraints, apparently I kicked a pregnant nurse, so kicking was somewhat hard to do.) and tried to escape.  My body would not move; probably because again I was restrained.  My mom ran over to me telling me it was going to be okay.  Next thing I see is a nurse coming into the room puts something in my IV and everything goes black.

The last memory is the pancakes.  This is the day that I woke up from it all.

My injuries consisted of a pelvis broken in two different places (hence the towel rack; or proper term a pelvic fixator), 6 fractured ribs, lacerated liver and spleen, collapsed lung, and a severe traumatic brain injury.  I had to be brought back twice.

Apparently, when we were turning onto our street our car was T-boned on my side.  My mom looked over at me and tried to reach over to get my out.  A nurse was on the scene and stopped her from touching me as something could have been wrong with my neck.  The ambulance and fire department were already on there way.  They had to use the jaws of life to release me from the car.  My mom stated that she could hear a paramedic state “she is not going to make it to the hospital.” Well I did.  The doctors told my mom numerous times that night “We will come out in an hour to let you know if your daughter is going to live or die.”  Well I lived.  The doctors told my mom that I would have to learn how to feed, bath, and walk again.  That I would never be able to finish high school or live on my own.  Well I graduated from high school, college with honors, and married with two sons.  

I wanted to share this story with you so you can get a background of who I am.  You may have followed my story for a while on Instagram or just started reading my blog on here. But, it is important to know your writer.  It is important that you know my history.

I also wanted to share this story to hopefully send a message.  Send the message that never let anyone tell you that you can not do something.  Never take the answer that you will never be able to do that.  Reach for the stars.  Know your worth.  Know that you are here for a reason.  Finally, at 30 I have realized this.  It may have taken me a long time, but I learned many things along the way and I can not wait to share them all with you.


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